No.. That’s not what I’m writing about. I’m here to tell you about the saddest moment ever in cinema history. Towards the end of the film, Mr. Banks is called to appear before his boss that evening. Mr. Banks knows it’s because he’s going to get fired. And he gets really depressed – So depressed, in fact, that he gives his annoying kids some dough and reprises his song “The Life I Lead” for, I believe, the third time in the film. But this time around, it’s super sad. And after a sad duet with Dick Van Dyke, Mr. Banks begins his long trek to the bank under the night sky, alone on the streets. As he walks, the tune grows in the orchestra and gets more sad by the measure, continues to grow with intensity along with some beautiful shots of Mr. Banks walking alone through a park – silhouetted by trees, and finally culminates with a choir and long shots of him walking up to the massive, imposing bank.

When I was a child, this was the saddest moment ever in cinema history and I’m sharing it with you. I still remember the scene and the music vividly.

Unfortunately, the only fucking video I could find of it was in German. The internet foils me again…

A man thinks: “Holy crap! I’m never getting married – no rock is worth that much dough. What kind of superficial wench… grrr…”

A woman thinks: “Awwww… I want to get married and have a big diamond ring given to me by a metrosexual…”

Here are my bathtub musings on the event:

My initial thoughts were that she had really good pitch for a singer. But something about her voice sounded pretentious and nasally. Which immediately made me think that it must take a staggering amount of mucus for her to sound nasally.

I beg to differ, Ms. Poppins. There’s plenty of jobs that aren’t fun at all. You’re a real ass for lying to kids like that. And then you go and feed them spoonfuls of sugar and wreck their teeth. Bastard.