Archive for the ‘Bathtub Musings’ category

You Sure Walk Funky

June 5th, 2010

I was in the bath this evening listening to some jazz albums I threw on my iPhone and a song called “You Sure Walk Funky” by B-3 master Jack McDuff came on and I immediately thought of this tale.* This tale is true and happened many moons ago it seems like…

Once upon a time, I went camping with my good friend Leon. We were camping somewhere in the San Luis Obispo area, set up our camp, and had driven off to find the nearest market to buy some food to cook over the campfire for dinner – Likely some sort of beef portion to sear on the grill and some corn to roast. That’s what camping is all about isn’t it? Anyhoo… We found a local market and had eagerly entered the fine establishment in search of meat and corn. Then it dawned on us… We needed a beverage! BEER! said the voices in our heads. But alas – neither one of us was 21 yet and both too poor to afford a proper fake I.D. We would have to settle for the nearest thing: Near Beer. It didn’t have quite the same romance as real beer, but it was the best we could do. So we headed for the beverage aisle…

Now on our way, for reasons I can’t quite remember, we were discussing funky music and being able to groove to a beat. By the time we were ass deep in the beverage aisle, we were both snapping our fingers and dancing a little. Our dumb cracker-fest in the middle of the beverage aisle was interrupted by an old black man who was suddenly not only in the aisle but standing only a few feet from us and staring at our stupidity. We immediately stopped. Embarrassed. For a moment he was silent – as if carefully calculating his thoughts. Then he pointed to Leon and said, and I quote: “You… You have no soul.. But you…” – and he pointed at me – “You got soul.” And then he slowly walked past us on the aisle and moseyed off into the sunset. We both stood there stunned for a few moments having felt enlightened somehow. Then we grabbed our Near Beer, our meat, our corn, went back to the campsite, and ate our grub. But the story has become legendary…

*NOTE: I tried to find a streaming version of this song for you to listen to but was unable to find anything. You’ll just have to trust me.

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Bathtub Musings #3

February 14th, 2010

If health concerns weren’t an issue, I’m fairly certain I could survive only on Reese’s Peanut Butter products for the rest of his life.

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Bathtub Musings #2

January 27th, 2010

Never watched or listened to anything with Barbara Streisand involved before. Just no real desire – Much like Hugh Grant movies. I mean… I had heard “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” before. But that’s really all about Neil and his awesomeness. So tonight, while in the tub, NPR Jazz played a standard sung by The Streisand.

Here are my bathtub musings on the event:

My initial thoughts were that she had really good pitch for a singer. But something about her voice sounded pretentious and nasally. Which immediately made me think that it must take a staggering amount of mucus for her to sound nasally.

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Bathtub Musings #1

January 18th, 2010

If Yoda was 900 years old in Return of the Jedi, how old would that make him in The Phantom Menace?

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