“The Life I Lead” (3rd Reprise) or The Saddest Moment EVER in Cinema History

March 9th, 2010 by Phil No comments »

When I was a youngin’, like many yougin’s, I enjoyed movies. And I grew up watching and appreciating the Disney classicsPinocchio, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Dumbo, The Wind in the Willows (one of faves), and, of course, Mary Poppins. I mentioned Mary Poppins as being some kind of lying bitch in a previous post somewhere. Well she was. But that’s beside the point. She was hot. She could sing. She had a green energy mode of transportation. She could jump you into a painting. She hangs out with chimney sweeps! The perfect woman!

No.. That’s not what I’m writing about. I’m here to tell you about the saddest moment ever in cinema history. Towards the end of the film, Mr. Banks is called to appear before his boss that evening. Mr. Banks knows it’s because he’s going to get fired. And he gets really depressed – So depressed, in fact, that he gives his annoying kids some dough and reprises his song “The Life I Lead” for, I believe, the third time in the film. But this time around, it’s super sad. And after a sad duet with Dick Van Dyke, Mr. Banks begins his long trek to the bank under the night sky, alone on the streets. As he walks, the tune grows in the orchestra and gets more sad by the measure, continues to grow with intensity along with some beautiful shots of Mr. Banks walking alone through a park – silhouetted by trees, and finally culminates with a choir and long shots of him walking up to the massive, imposing bank.

When I was a child, this was the saddest moment ever in cinema history and I’m sharing it with you. I still remember the scene and the music vividly.

Unfortunately, the only fucking video I could find of it was in German. The internet foils me again…

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Movie Review: They Live

February 20th, 2010 by Phil No comments »

While long held in wide esteem for it’s quotable dialogue (“I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubble gum…”, “Life’s a bitch… and it’s back in heat… “) and one of the most ridiculously lengthy fist fights in cinema history, we often times overlook the dramatic performance of “Rowdy” Roddy Piper – He brings to life a character that can only be described as the not-so-bright but brawny homeless Canadian lumberjack bastard son of Robert Redford and Kurt Russell.

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Movie Review: Tony Jaa in The Protector

February 14th, 2010 by Phil No comments »

This film has copious amounts of awesome. It has something for everyone. As long as that “something” is ridiculously awesome kung-fu and elephants. And it has plenty of both for everyone.

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Bathtub Musings #3

February 14th, 2010 by Phil No comments »

If health concerns weren’t an issue, I’m fairly certain I could survive only on Reese’s Peanut Butter products for the rest of his life.

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T.V. Commercial 2.2.2010

February 2nd, 2010 by Phil No comments »

The problem isn’t always mucus.

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Target Demographics

January 30th, 2010 by Phil No comments »

Noticed something this evening… All jewelry ads.. You know the ones.. “How else to make 10 months salary last forever…” … “Oh!! He went to Jared!” … etc. Observation: Those ads have the direct opposite impact on men than they do women. Absolutely polarizing.

A man thinks: “Holy crap! I’m never getting married – no rock is worth that much dough. What kind of superficial wench… grrr…”

A woman thinks: “Awwww… I want to get married and have a big diamond ring given to me by a metrosexual…”

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Bathtub Musings #2

January 27th, 2010 by Phil No comments »

Never watched or listened to anything with Barbara Streisand involved before. Just no real desire – Much like Hugh Grant movies. I mean… I had heard “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” before. But that’s really all about Neil and his awesomeness. So tonight, while in the tub, NPR Jazz played a standard sung by The Streisand.

Here are my bathtub musings on the event:

My initial thoughts were that she had really good pitch for a singer. But something about her voice sounded pretentious and nasally. Which immediately made me think that it must take a staggering amount of mucus for her to sound nasally.

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Bathtub Musings #1

January 18th, 2010 by Phil No comments »

If Yoda was 900 years old in Return of the Jedi, how old would that make him in The Phantom Menace?

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Mary Poppins: Bastard

January 17th, 2010 by Phil No comments »

In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun…

I beg to differ, Ms. Poppins. There’s plenty of jobs that aren’t fun at all. You’re a real ass for lying to kids like that. And then you go and feed them spoonfuls of sugar and wreck their teeth. Bastard.

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Twart

January 14th, 2010 by Phil No comments »

twart [twahrt] Vulgar Slang
–noun
1. an often audible discharge of intestinal gas (flatus) expelled through Twitter.com
2. an annoying or foolish Twitter.com user.
–verb (used without object)
3. to expel a flatus through Twitter.com; break virtual wind.
–verb phrase:
twart around
4. to spend time foolishly or aimlessly on Twitter.com

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